It's odd how my age has never bothered me before. Not even four years ago when I met you. One would think that seeing someone so young would have cause that sort of thinking but it never did for me. Age was never the issue. But now... I do not know why but suddenly it seems like the years are catching up to me.
I will turn 30 next year... I think I have aged more than usual these last few years and soon enough my thirtieth birthday will arrive to remind me of how old I have become. I feel so silly for saying this, but it feels like my life is slipping away. More than a third of my life has passed and I have spent it doing what? Studying and working. And I am no closer to my dream than I was ten years ago.
But what can I do? My job is all I have, just as it always has been. I enjoy it, too, but it will never be enough.
Thing is age come with grief at most of the time. When something harsh that threads on us happens we often get the feeling of being old. Look at me, 32 years old and finally finding what I want. Life is not over yet Yuki dear. You got to fight for it.
ReplyDeleteAnd to say that you only have your job is a bit selfish of you. You are better then that.